Leaving Safely
Advice
If you are suffering domestic violence and think your attacker may check your internet activity, use a friend’s computer or go to the public library or an internet café. It is possible to clear your history pages by going to Internet Options, but it is difficult to remove all records and we would strongly advise you to use another device if you are at all worried.
Many people flee their homes on the spur of the moment, when their life is in danger this is often their only option. However, if you are thinking of leaving, the information below, based on UK Home office advice, will make sorting your life out afterwards a lot easier.
Try to get some advice from one of the agencies listed on this website. They will give you information about housing, benefits and support. Most law firms have a partner who specialises in Family Law. National Centre for Domestic Violence for 24 Hour Emergency free advice on 0844 8044 999 or Text “NCDV” to 60777 or Email This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
Once you have left, do not arrange to meet your abuser alone however sincere their remorse appears.
Warning Signs of an Abusive Personality
Jealousy
Controlling Behaviour
Quick Involvement
Unrealistic Expectations
Isolation
Blame Shifting for Problems
Blame Shifting for Feelings
Hypersensitivity
Cruelty to Animals
Cruelty to Children
Playful use of Force in Sex
Rigid Sex Rules / Stereotpes
Verbal Abuse
Dr Jeckyll or Mr Hyde
Drink or Substance Abuse
History of Battering or Sexual Abuse
Threatening Violence
Breaking or Striking Objects
Any Force during an Argument
It is all about Power and Control
See http://www.duluth-model.org
for control wheel video see https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5OrAdC6ySiY
Information and signposting on where to get help with domestic violence or domestic abuse. Skip to main content East Sussex County Council Make text bigger Contact us
The Portal helps you to find advice and support in Brighton & Hove and East Sussex. If you’ve been affected by domestic or sexual abuse or violence in Brighton & Hove, or East Sussex, get in touch to find out more about the help, advice and support available. In an emergency call the police on 999. You can also use 101 to give information
Advice and support for those who've been affected by domestic or sexual abuse or violence in Brighton & Hove or East Sussex. Worth Services, West Sussex Find local services that support people who are being abused, including the Domestic Abuse Community Action Network, which offers peer support from a small group of women who have experienced domestic abuse.
WORTH Specialist Domestic Abuse Service supports people at high risk of harm or homicide as a result of domestic abuse. They have teams of IDVAs (independent domestic violence advisors) across West Sussex who work to identify, assess and assist people at risk. If you would like support, or to refer someone for support, use our referral form or ...
Domestic Abuse Surgery. A Domestic Abuse Surgery is available at the Customer Service Centre at Hove Town Hall, every Wednesday morning between 9am and 12 noon - ask for The Surgery at reception to access specialist information and advice. The Surgery is provided by staff from Sussex Police and RISE, the Brighton & Hove domestic abuse service.
Support for survivors of domestic or sexual abuse in Brighton & Hove and East Sussex. Click below if you're a professional who wants to refer someone to our service, or if you are an individual experiencing domestic abuse and need support. Visit the Portal
The Helpline can give support for anyone who may be suffering domestic abuse or violence, or if you are concerned for someone, we can provide help and information over the telephone, wherever the caller might be in the country. The Helpline is staffed 24 hours a day by fully trained female helpline support workers and volunteers.
Domestic abuse affects people from all walks of life and in many different ways. Find out what's considered as domestic abuse, how to report it and how, under Clare’s Law, you can find out if a partner has a history of domestic violence or abuse.
The Freephone 24 Hour National Domestic Violence Helpline, run in partnership between Women's Aid and Refuge, is a national service for women experiencing domestic violence, their family, friends, colleagues and others calling on their behalf.
If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse and/or violence from a family member, there are a variety of places that you can get advice. If you are a woman fleeing domestic abuse, we may be able to help you find accommodation at a women’s refuge. You can also find a place yourself through the National Domestic Violence Helpline.
Penny Beale Memorial Fund
Domestic Violence Victim
Break the Silence
On 25th November 2001 Penny was brutally murdered. The victim of domestic violence, she was punched kicked and stamped on by her partner. She received 123 injuries, including 18 broken ribs, her liver, spleen and lungs were pierced. Penny was 31 years old.
Penny’s story was not unique, it followed a pattern that is repeated daily worldwide. This is her story, told by her mother, and the subsequent action her mother is taking to advise victims of domestic violence about the choices open to them.
“Domestic violence statistics are about real people – you, me and the woman next door. On November 25th 2001 – International Domestic Violence Awareness day – my daughter, Penny, was brutally murdered by her boyfriend here in Hastings, England. In the 18 months prior to her death the number of times Penny “fell down the stairs” and “bumped into the bathroom door” increased at an alarming rate. She was treated in hospital for various injuries including a cut to her head, requiring 8 stitches, which was caused by a blade.
On one occasion she told the ambulance crew how she had sustained her injuries and I hoped that at last she was going to take some action to prevent further pain. I had contacted various agencies for help and advice, including the police. Penny was too frightened to make a statement to the police herself.
Penny repeatedly asked her boyfriend to leave, but he always returned. I had requested that she be put on the Domestic Violence At Risk Register. I later learnt that the police had done the same when called to an incident at her home in February 2001. I also complained to the hospital after Penny was discharged in her boyfriend’s company when she was due to be sectioned after a suicide attempt.
I felt as though I was regarded as a neurotic parent making a fuss over very little. I know now that Domestic Violence is so widespread the police and other agencies wanted the victim to take the first step. This is no longer a legal requirement. I stated to various agencies that my greatest fear was to be called to the morgue to identify the body. Sadly this is exactly what I was forced to do.
I cannot bring my daughter back, but I have set up the Penny Beale Memorial Fund to raise awareness of the extent of Domestic Violence and offer advice and support to victims. If I can save one other life – then . . . “
Penny Beale senior
Penny Beale Memorial Fund
Tackling Domestic Violence
The Penny Beale Memorial Fund is a registered charity set up to combat domestic violence. The constitution states its objectives as “to preserve and protect the physical and mental health of persons who are or have been the victims of domestic violence and to advance the education of the public, including local authorities and voluntary bodies, by the provision of information, advice and training programmes into the causes, remedies and prevention of domestic violence.”
The DVD Break the Silence is available to view via the link.
Penny Beale senior lives in Hastings, East Sussex, and is willing to give talks and show the DVD to any interested organisation if expenses are covered (travel and accommodation).
Contact email This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
If you are the victim of domestic abuse please go to our pages of useful contacts. You are not alone _ help is available.
Advice. If you are suffering domestic abuse and think that your attacker may check your internet activity, use a friend’s computer or go to the public library or internet café. It is possible to clear your history pages by going to Internet Options, but it is difficult to remove all records and we would strongly advise you to use another device if you are at all worried.